After successfully playing hide and seek with covid19 for two years. It finally caught hold of me in January 2022. My First 3 days of January 2022, literally went from "Happy New Year 2022" to "I am feeling weird pain in my body"!! The first two waves did take a toll on mental health. The side effects of Corona are long terms. I have seen it in some close members of my family. Many people have come out of the struggle with no strings attached yet I know many who have got long-term scars due to the disease. The delta variant, the omicron variant, and the flu, all three are spread out. I had fear of the virus because I feared how badly can it further affect my hearing. It is no secret that I struggle to understand what people speak in the mask. My reliance on lip-reading in conversation is important for communication. I was scared that what if after getting the virus, whatever hearing I have is also gone. This fear came because someone has told me that the virus activates the deficiencies/disease present in the body and worsens it.
The hearing aids technology has improved a lot. There are smart hearing aids. Hearing aids are now being connected to the laptop, phones, and every other technological device to hear better in telephonic conversations, to hear better in video calls, etc but the face-to-face conversations are always different. I know that I cannot converse like other non-deficient persons. I know that even my body language in terms of conversation is different from any non-hearing-impaired person. I always tend to avoid meeting too many people and to keep the conversation to the point. It is not a struggle, it is a simple acceptance of who I am. Every time I contract any sickness, fever, or cold, my hearing gets impacted. I started to hear less than what I normally do. When I got sick, I first thought it is normal flu and it will go away on its own. On day 1, I had fever and severe body ache. The kind of body ache which I had never experienced earlier. I don't like taking medicine for every minor discomfort, I am of the feeling that the more medicine you take, the more your body becomes accustomed to it. As soon as I got sick, my husband rushed to the doctor to get medicines, I was firm about not taking them as I thought fever will go on its own. He said take one dose, if it doesn't help then don't continue it. After taking the dose, I did feel relieved from fever and body ache but I could also feel that it hasn't gone. The fever and body ache has just got suppressed due to the medicines. It was a different feeling altogether.
For the next three days, I kept feeling weak. The moment of dizziness and confusion was there. I meant something else and would say something else. My voice became heavy. On day three, I felt like, despite the medicines, my body temperature is increasing. I thought maybe I should get the covid test done. Consulted my physician and he said to go for it. I was also getting weird dreams every night. Since I moved to a new district in July, I get one dream of screams in my ear. The scream dream is analogous to some firecracker bursting near my ear or something related to that. My jaws were also feeling very stiff. My hearing had deteriorated. I was frequently asking "what", " repeat ". I realized more I think about it, the more I will feel such sensation. I was in disbelief that I am COVID Positive. During wave one and wave two, there were the time when everyone around me was covid positive except me. Here, I hardly met anyone. I was wearing mask, I was washing hands and sanitizing hands frequently, yet I got covid positive. But, I guess, sooner or later the disease would have got hold of me.
I spent my day 1 in watching Netflix and I got new symptoms of eye twitch and eye bookers. I realized it may be due to spending too much time watching the series. Then I decided to spend my time reading books. Earlier, I was fond of Nancy Drew books then it changed to Sidney Sheldon books, then my Genre changed to reading romance books. Again I started reading murder mystery then spiritual books. Currently, I enjoy reading self-help groups. I decided to resume the two books which I was reading "The Saint, the Surfer, and the CEO" by Robin Sharma and "The Magic Mindset: How to Find Your Happy Place " by Preeti Shenoy. Both the books are good to read. and motivating. While The Saint, Surfer, and the CEO give many important life lessons on listening to what you desire. The Magic Mindset is more about how to look at any situation in a different way and how to get over any adverse aspect of life. Life is always like a Pendulum. Going through highs and lows and then ultimately coming back to normal days.
I realized being positive and looking at things with optimistic outcomes, does affect things. It gives strength to fight the disease with zeal. Though I am yet to fully recover from the disease. The weakness, dizziness are yet to end but I am sure the bad days are over and the coming days would get better.
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