So, it has been almost a year since I wrote "How feasible is Government Sector for a Persons who is hearing impaired? My Experiences: Part 1" of the series. Straight to the point, I don't think that government sector is feasible for a Person who is hearing impaired. Covid19 has made it hard. Lack of awareness about disability has made it hard. If you speak your concerns, you would be labelled as someone who is "Asking for other's pity and sympathy" which I have been told is not a good trait for an administrator. If you prefer to be quiet to your issues, either you are having lack of interest in the job or you are not having any issues at all, you just pretend to be disabled but your hearing is perfectly fine. If you prefer to fight for your rights on your own, you would be labelled as "Overtly Authoritative ". If you ask anyone close to you to fight for your issues , you would be labelled as "Cannot fend for herself".
The first challenge is meetings. Even if you let the officials and superiors know well in advance that you rely in lip reading, no body will give a damn to make meetings more accessible. The meetings are really long. Some can even go for two-three hours or even four at stretch. Meeting still would be conducted with people speaking in mask, and I am always left wondering that what is happening. Is people discussing my sub division or what is being discussed. Why are people laughing or why does this person seems annoyed. My mind is full of these thoughts. Should I spend all time in surfing through my mobile but what to read or surf for so long! Should I excuse myself or not go to the meeting at all, but then wouldn't it be rude? Should I announce in every meeting that I am hearing impaired so please speak with mask off? Should I bring a book to read in meeting? There are numerous thoughts which keep moving in my mind . Honestly, every meeting feel like utter time waste and torturous to me.
The second challenge is made to feel inferior or subordinate to people around you. It is no secret that work place gender ratio is highly skewed. Most of your superior would be men, juniors would be men. Most men fails to understand the issues faced by a normal women at workplace. It is probably foolish of a women to expect them to understand issues of a disabled women. But, most men do try to ascertain their superiority by either not listening to your concerns or if they do politely listen to you, to only focus on one sided point and label you as sympathy seeker. A while ago an Administrator told me "So what if you cannot hear, you can see. Replace your sense of hearing with sense of vision. Problem Solved." Well, I am still ascertaining on how to do this magic! I wish, I was told "how"part as well. If I travel in Non Ac Vehicle, due to too much wind, I tend to experience tinnitus and ear pain. Thereby reducing my ability to hear even further.
The third challenge is loneliness. Every-time I move to a new place, as much as I enjoy, I also feel terrified on how the people at new place would treat me. Will they be good to me or will they be able to understand my concerns. Also, as I cannot understand giggles and whisper and jokes, the meetings also tend to get monotonous for me, elucidating the feeling of being alone. I do enjoy being alone but sometimes being surrounded with no support but judgemental eyes who don't try to understand your condition does make you feel scared and aloof. There is lack of sensitisation among people as well.
The fourth challenge is my own personal struggle. Everyday is a challenge. One day could be happy one , another day could be stressful. Stressful day leads to tinnitus. The constant buzzing sound in ear is irritating and cause lack of proper sleep. Lack of Proper sleep, makes next day tiring. More the tiredness, more the tinnitus increases. On top of it, the rainy season and continuous rains, causes ear ache and itching. There are days when I wake up The tinnitus, ear ache and tiredness, due to which I find it extremely difficult to concentrate properly on my hearing. Due to inability to hear properly, I do get irritated. The more I get irritated, the lesser I am able to hear and understand things. Also sometimes I feel due to irritation, I get embraced in negativity too. I need to work on this. Every time I am able to talk on phone with any third person for a longer duration, I consider it as my own personal achievement.
The fifth challenge is talking on phone and talking in person. Different people have different dialect and accent. It is difficult to grasp all the accents. For some, it is easy to understand and while for some other, it is difficult. Talking on phone as been very big concerns for me. While, I have started to understand the basic talks yet once talk shifts to specific village name or to something Unexpected, I find it extremely difficult to fathom what the communicator is trying to communicate. I also find zoom calls and video conferences extremely challenging,
Not that these challenges are open headed, there are multiple solution to it. Some has very simple solution. It is not a mayhem task to make a meeting disable friendly with respect to hearing impaired. A well made agenda, sharing of data and information through mail, WhatsApp or any medium either before the meeting or during the meeting can easily bridge the gap. Even when oral point are being communicated, they can be shared on screen by suitable mediums. More awareness could easily resolve the second challenge. I do acknowledge that awareness also need elaborate planning. To overcome the feeling of loneliness, indulging in new hobbies and learning new things could be a fruitful experience. Even though, my art skills are very poor, I try to draw and paint. They make me happy.
It is bitter but Most people in Government Offices doesn't care about a hard of hearing impaired person. Probably the one of the reason being there is "no physical pain" which a person with locomotor disability has. Apparently, I have also been told that being hearing impaired is not serious issues as visual impaired because "hearing impaired" can at-least see things. Being two years into this service, I have began to feel that has joining this service been biggest mistake of my life? Was my Job at Oracle Financial Better than this one? The reason is not the nature of the job but the attitude of work place environment. People , there were more warm, more understanding towards disability, made more effort to imbibe but many people in Administration are highly judgemental and show disregard for respecting a disable person.
